I feel so alone. I feel like every since I was born, I've been doing things alone. Maybe I think too much, maybe I will die alone, but won't we all. I just get real tired sometimes. Like I feel like this parent or over-worked mother who never has time to take care of herself because she is always trying to take care of others and never has time for herself. That is what I feel like. That is the person I am. I give, give and give, and people just take, take and take and I just get left feeling completely drained of all the humanity I have. Like I do so much out of just kindness and people just take advantage of that, especially my friends and no one ever seems to notice or care about that. I get sorry's. I get laughter. I get so much other than what I want which is just for someone to really stare me down and ask: "how are you, truly?" and offer some form of comfort, just time. But nobody ever does. And I am tired. And it gets harder to go on when you just want everything to end because no one will ever understand. Because the world is shit, humans are shit, we ruin everything, even ourselves and can never account for our blame. We just point the finger and keep going. I just want it to be over. But I'm also really scared that I am the only one to think this, to know this, to live this thought every day and have to die alone that way. That is my fear, that that will never be understood.
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