Hello my readers,
Sorry it's been so long since I posted. I have put up the answer post that I totally forgot about. (sorry but I been busy). Recently, I was going through a really tough time. Emotionally, a lot of things were giving me anxiety and making me sad, things from my past, ptsd, things with Killy moving away and just things with myself. So to get away from my problems and my overwhelming overthinking and such, I went away on a job and then a vacation. First, I was camp counselor for Writers in Baltimore Schools 2018 Writing Camp. I was partnered with Rachael, another girl I met during the split this rock trip and together we counseled eight girls. It was in Jefferson, Maryland at a place called Mar Lu Ridge. Being a camp counselor was difficult but fun but difficult. I wrote a few new things, revised some things too. I met a lot of new people and I hope I helped some kids too. I talked to Killy every night I was there. And not once did I have a bad memory about the past.
After I left the camp at Mar Lu Ridge, I took a 10pm (well 11pm cause it was late) flight to Illinois, to visit my dudes (Brennan and Lexi). Lexi flew in from New Jersey and when I saw her at the Airport, I jumped on her and made her fall. I'm a dingbat. We went to baggage claim, got my luggage, then waited for Brennan and her mom to pull up. We got in the car and it all felt surreal. We all just laughed and talked about how unreal it felt we were to actually be with each other. Anyway, we did a lot of things, including smoke, each deep dish pizza, go to the lake, go out to eat, get tattoos, get piercings and into some fav spots of Brennans. I got a tattoo and my septum pieced. I really really really did enjoy myself, and I didn't talk to any guys while I was there like romantically (I did talk to killy on the phone). I did also however download tinder just to see if I had any messages and I did from this guy named chris but he never texted me back after I replied and he changed his anthem to xxxtencion so whatever. I brought my sister and mom some gifts, and my friend Brennan gave me and lexi a gift. We also got crystals together and I brought a lot of new crystals and jewelry related stuff. THE TRIP WAS SO FUN AND IT HONESTLY WAS NOT LONG ENOUGH, LIKE FOUR DAYS IS NOT LONG AT ALL!
When it was time to get on the place, one of my flight attendance was FINE!! as hell so when he came by with the snack cart, I let it pass the first time but when it came back, I made sure to get a muffin and a smile from him. And you know me, I love to write notes so I wrote him a note telling him how I thought he had pretty eyes and a beautiful smile and I gave him my number. He texted me later that night and now we texting. I was a little anxious about telling my mother about my tattoo because there was no denying the septum piercing. But it actually went very well, she was alright with it and I don't have to hide it from her. Currently, I am working two jobs. Before I had three, working as a writing teacher for 9th grade boys. That was also rough but it was fun while it lasted, which was only 5 weeks. Now I am working at Barnes and Noble as a bookseller and Port Discovery at the box office. I really like working at both, they both give me anxiety tho. My coworkers are nicer at Barnes and Noble, my Port Discovery coworkers aren't bad either. It's just sometimes I think a few of them don't like me and that sometimes makes me overthink or do or makes me want to not do stuff like ask questions. But you know, not everyone is going to like you and I just have to face that that's alright. But something that gives me joy is knowing that I can drive to work. I love driving. It is so fun, other than dumb ass people who don't follow the rules. I like driving to my friends and to places, but the only thing is that I am driving my mother's car. So I am working to save up for a car as well as to pay for school this semester. ​Besides working, I need to begin planning more for my field study in which I will need to set up a meeting with one of my overseers for my project. I also need to focus on my health because I think my acid reflux is acting up again. And since I just recently got a tattoo and a septum piercing, I need to be on point with that. This also includes my mental health so I have been trying to journal as much as possible to get the thoughts out of my head and onto paper. Some other things include not wanting to date anyone right now, I just want to have fun. That being said, I'm just going to chat with guys, nothing serious, just chatting. I'll let you know on any upcoming dates. One other thing I wanted to mention is that I met my new baby sister from my father not too long ago and she was precious. She is a sleeper and a very expressionist sassy baby. But she is adorable. I went with jasmine to see her and we had to wake her up and stuff. I was nervous at first but after I saw her a second time, I felt much more confident and happy. Look at that face!
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